need advice,help

[jerri]

here it is, it is a long story but i will sum it up as much as i can. my husband and i wanted another baby more then anything but was told i couldd never get pregnant again because i had cervical cancer and other medical issues,9 years after the cancer to our shock,i was pregnant!!! but to be able to carry a baby would be almost imposs. i had to have surgey just for a tiny hope that we could pull it off and have this baby,it was touch and go but we did it,she was 5 weeks early but she was awesome and healthy. this is the problem,i am all alone,my husband has not helped me at all,not one diaper,he has not lost one second of sleep,i can't even get him to watch her so i can get a bath!! i have to bring her in the bathroom with me!i mean he has done nothing,he holds her about 15 min. a day.i am so tired and burnt out with takeing care of the baby,the other kids,the house,the shopping ect.
what do i do?i am on cloud nine over this angel but i am just so spent i feel i am loseing some great times because i can't catch my breath. i don't get what has happened!how do i fix this?
ok,i feel a little better just getting it out.

[sara]

Jerri, I'm sorry that you are going though this and feeling so alone hun! Have you tried sitting down with your husband and talking to him about it? Best advise I can give you and its only advise lol. Try to validate his feelings. Tell him that you know that he is tired from working every day, and that he likes to unwind, but that you could use some help. I know its hard but try not to yell (Atleast for me it would be hard not to yell) Tell him how you are feeling and see what he says. Really listen to what he has to say think it over for a minute and then again validate his feelings and ask him point blank what you would like his help with. See if that helps. I'm sorry I cant be any more help hun, I wish I could. But I can do this: Wrap your arms around you and give yourself a big hug from me. If you need to talk I am here.

[elleandkurt]

I agree with Sara. It's awful to hear how you suffer from this issue. I can only say one thing and that thing Sara has already said: Sit down and talk to him why you have to do everything and he's doing nothing. I think Sara explains a lot n her message, so I have nothing else to tell than just talk to him.. That's what I would do. Otherwise talk to your or his mum, maybe that will work? I don't know... Keep us updated!

[sara]

I know that from my experience I have had to really listen to my other half and to validate his feelings. Even though I may not agree with them, its like a ego boost I think lol. They want or need that to understand that you are really listening and are trying to validate what they had to say and feel.

[HylaW]

I am sorry you are going through this I agree with Sara also. If that doesnt work (if you get along with his mom) I would definitely talk to her about everything that is going on, get her opinion on the way he is acting.

[jerri]

thanks guys,i put my foot up his @%%@%$! all better now-love ya

[sara]

lol Jerri I'm glad things are going better for you!

[jerri]

how is little ms willow,is she ready yet?